Friday, November 5, 2010

Red Wings @ Oilers

3 : Detroit Red Wings @ Edmonton Oilers : 1

Oiler's feed this time, so no Ken and Mick. Just the dumb Canadian announcers. And I'm not saying that just because they're Canadian, but I've been forced to watch a lot of enemy feeds this season, so I can honestly say that these are the worst announcers I have ever heard. I'm not sure there even was a color commentator. 

Some Notes From The Game:

Abdelkader's goal:

Abby is back in action. Modano, jersey flapping in the breeze, rockets straight into the offensive zone and wrists one into Bulin. The rebound is given up and Abby, mere steps behind Modano, joins the fight for the rebound and gives it just a hard enough tap to sink it

Two Kids and a Goat, anyone?
Later on in the period, and nobody else caught this, but I'm immortalizing it it forever - a hand to the FACE is a great way to stop someone in the neutral zone. Helm receives one and does a funny little melting stumble (no other way to describe it). 

Those two refs SAW NOTHING
Canadian announcers continue to prove their commentator prowess by confusing the Red Wings players. Salei takes a penalty, but they call him Kindl for a solid minute before correcting themselves. Salei goes off for roughing with another Oiler, who gets a crosschecking.

Nothing really eventful on the 4 on 4.

There's 9 seconds of a 4 on 3 (don't see a lot of those) after random Oiler takes a double minor for high sticking Filppula in the mouth.

Filp's beautiful face, thankfully, remain intact
So now we have a four minute power play. It can be summed up thusly:

Datsyuk hits the post.

Holmstrom digs for gold and gets crosschecked.

Lidstrom, Datsyuk, and Franzen get a few shots off.

Oilers kill off the double minor.

End first period.

The Second Period:

Kindl gets a crosschecking penalty. Abby has some fun causing havoc in the offensive zone for a solid 10 seconds before the Oilers finally manage to bring the puck into our end. Abby, I'm really starting to like you.

Oilers hit two posts this period, one just before the penalty, one during.

Red Wings successfully kill off the penalty.

After the power play expires, an Oiler drills Datsyuk into the boards.

Big E takes exception to this, fight ensues. Retarded ref grabs Big E by the arms and lets the Oiler get a few free shots in. Ref gets a bloody mouth for his troubles.

Not the face!
Big E grabs himself an instigator, and the Oilers get a power play.

 Lids tries extra hard. We appreciate it, old man.

During this power play, Taylor Hall scores. Good job, Big E.

Next, Zetterberg draws an interference penalty. Pretty weak call, but we'll take it.

We finally score during a power play. Woot.

Filppula's goal:

Filppula has possession and drops a nice pass back to Kronner on the blue line. He fakes going for a slapshot – convincing one defender, who drops to the ice to block the shot - and instead slaps a pass to Lids, who has gone deep into the zone. Lids fans on the pass a bit, so just wrists it towards the mass of humanity in front of the goal. Cleary gets a stick on it, tips it to Filpulla, who bangs it in.

Filp gets vengeance for the damage to his face
Hockey is played for a few more minutes.

Stuart takes a shot after Howard makes a save. He gives himself a good few seconds to collect himself on the ice. I cringe, and pray to heathen gods. Stuart manages to find his feet and heads to the bench. Didn't look like he enjoyed it.

Come on, Stewie. Don't scare us like this
Later on there's a scrum in front of the Oiler net, obviously with Homer the root cause. He's in the thick of it and manages to lose his helmet.

Referee saving some Oiler's life.
Short scrum and nothing comes of it. The hockey game continues.

Hudler tries really hard to score a goal.

Tuzzi get nailed by a puck. He doesn't seem to enjoy it.

Oiler gives Tuzzi a reassuring pat. There there, big guy.
Next, Stuart shoulder checks the hell out of some Oiler, who decides they're going to fight.

 The refs suck all the fun out of this game.
Stuart loses his jersey. He gets yelled at for not tying that shit down. Glad to see I'm not the only one who notices that Stuart NEVER has his jersey down. It's always tucked into the back of his hockey pants. Go ahead – watch him every game. Without fail, it's in the back of his pants. Drives me insane.

Ref educates Stuart on the dress code
During the power play that follows this scrum, Bulin absolutely ROBS Zetterberg of a goal. This one makes the NHL highlight reels.

No picture can really do this save justice, but Bulin ends up on his back in the crease. The puck is sailing straight for the top shelf, but from his back Bulin smack the puck with his glove in mid air, sending the puck sailing harmlessly over the goal. It was sickening to watch.

Kindl high sticks someone. Whoops. We successfully kill off the penalty, and the period comes to a close.

The Third Period:

Salei takes a tripping penalty. The Eurotwins wreck absolute havok in the offensive zone. Z gets really close to a shorthanded goal.

It all starts when Datsyuk intercepts a through the air pass with the shaft of his stick, steals the puck, and passes it to Z, who is coming down the middle. Z gets a shot on goal. It rebounds and bounces off a few skates, nearly going in, but some random Oiler saves it.

Datsyuk really spends this whole match just toying with these kids. It's so much fun to watch.

Boring penalty kill, other than that. We kill it off.

Lids has a series of disgustingly awesome defensive plays during the first part of this period. I'm not sure if it's because the Oilers suck or if Lids is just that awesome.

Next I'm forced to endure an awful conversation from the announcers about Modano and the fact that his feet swell in cities with high altitude (I didn't really need to know that), so the night before the game he puts a little stretching device in his skates to he can fit his feet in there come game time. Ironic, according to announcers, because a lot of people would say modano is a... swell guy.

This conversation actually happened. I shit you not.

This is followed by a GREAT penalty to Lidstrom, who proves yet again that his skills are disgusting.

Your hand-eye coordination makes me sick, old man.
Some Oiler gets a shot on Jimmah, and the rebound comes off Howard and into the air right in front of the goal. Lidstrom decides to go for safety first and whack the puck mid-air with the blade of his stick to clear it. He ends up smacking it over the glass and gets called for delay of game. No description can really do this play justice. It's just something you have to see for yourself.

The Perfect Human is not amused.
During the ensuing penalty kill, Datsyuk steals the puck and him and Z go have another party in the offensive zone. They get a shot on goal before the penalty ends.

Of course they do.

We play hockey for a few minutes. Abby sends himself flying into Bulin's goal at one point, and Bulin shoves his face into the ice for his troubles.

 Get out of my house!
Cleary grabs an empty net goal as the game comes to a close. This ices the game for the Red Wings and puts Datsyuk on the score sheet, keeping his point streak alive.

Don't Think We Didn't Notice:
Big E, along with his 5 mins for fighting and 10 min misconduct, has that pesky 2 mins for instigating as well that needs to be served, so someone has to sit in the box with E.

Did we just become best friends?

That's right, Happy. Serve that shit. Serve it with pride.

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