Sunday, November 28, 2010

Blue Jackets @ Red Wings

2 : Columbus Blue Jackets @ Detroit Red Wings : 4

BJs vs Wings - Redux

We get things started by noting that the Wings have the best winning percentage in the NHL at the quarter pole. Hellz yeah. AND we've played less games than everyone else. AND we're first in the Division. AND we're first in the Conference. AND we're third in the NHL.

Ho man.

The First Period:

Datsyuk gets things started by getting dumped right in front of the BJ bench. It didn't look fun.

There are no whistles or even anything remotely interesting in the first half of the period.

Finally, Mason absolutely robs Zetterberg. That's the BJs I know.

Knowing I just typed that, Mason robs Datsyuk.

Right after the next faceoff, Mason robs Stuart.

Obviously, the Highway Robbery Competition has been renewed. Down ice, Jimmah waits impatiently for some action.

Finally, after a minute or so, Jimmah gets to make a save.

Ken and Mick spend some time bantering about the psychological effect of the away sweaters on the Red Wings. Mick believes the Red Wings play differently in their away sweaters. Ken manages to squeeze in a crack about the Florida Panthers.

Next break grants us a Red Wings add. "The real All-Star Game takes place in Hockeytown... every night."

True story.

Jimmah makes another save. Afterward, Lidstrom and BJ#16 Brassard have a short stick-joust behind the net. The whistle goes as Jimmah holds onto the puck, and Lidstrom cracks a joke to Brassard as they skate away. It must have been funny, because Brassard was cracking up. A lot.

Lidstrom adds comedian to his long list of talents
We get our first penalty of the night as a BJ goes off for giving Hudler a hug.

 In the BJ's defense, Huds probably could have used the hug

Power play time. Lidstrom gets a lot of shots off. Raffi gets a chance or two.

Second unit produces nothing. Power play ends.

Ken manages to squeeze a comment in there about Bertuzzi's +11. Still leading the team... and still freaking me out.

Homer gets rocked into the boards. He wasn't happy.

It's not a Red Wings game if Homer's not getting abused

The BJ goes off for boarding. Seconds later, Zetterberg goes off for holding, moving it to a 4 on 4.

And the BJs score in the final minute.

Of course they do.

The Second Period:

Dino stops by during the intermission, and shows off his Hall of Fame ring. 

 There's a Captain Planet joke in here somewhere

Mason robs Filppula.

Next, Toddzilla introduces a new move I'm officially calling the Shake and Bake. Classic.

Toddzilla uses his stick to give Filppula that extra burst of speed
Mason robs Datsyuk.

Mason robs Abby.

Mason robs Salei.

Frustrated, Abby whacks Mason in the face with his stick.

Mason wins an Emmy

We get about 10 seconds of penalty kill before Helm draws a penalty for tripping. We move to 4 on 4.

Kronwall's goal:

Datsyuk attempts a pass to Big E in the offensive zone. The puck bounces off a BJ, and Datsyuk corrals the loose puck. Kronner heads deep into the zone, meeting Datsyuk along the boards. Datsyuk holds the puck at the boards, waiting for Kronner to skate next to the net. Datsyuk makes the pass to Kronner, who shoves it up against Mason's pads. A few good whacks later, the puck is in.

Dedication. It pays off.

Then, 14 seconds later, Helm scores.

Helm's goal:

Miller has the puck. It comes loose along the boards behind the goal. Miller, Helm, and a few BJs battle for it. Helm gains possession, skates into the right faceoff dot, and wrists it in.


 And because I've got the time, a bonus shot of Eaves. Who was really happy with the goal.


Zetterberg draws a roughing penalty they don't show, as Mick was too busy giving Helm props. He loses his helmet somehow.

During the power play, Mason robs Zetterberg. Nothing else of note there.

Afterward, the BJs throw 7 men on the ice. Yes, 7. The refs, however, are blind.

Almost got my too-many-men penalty. Damn it all....

We knock their net off. Good times.

Mason robs Homer.

Next, and I wish there was some way to get a shot of this, but... Well, you'll have have to take my word for it. Lidstrom has an awesome moment. He keeps a puck in the offensive zone by whacking it mid-air with his stick, then gets shoved into the boards. Then the puck comes right back to him, and he's still shoving around with the BJ, so he keeps it in the zone by kicking it back with his skate. This all happens in the span of about three seconds, and it's just so... Nick Lidstrom.

Ken, at least, gets a chuckle out of it.

Next, Dan O'Halloran sends Kronner off for interference. They both laugh about it - not sure why it's funny.

Queue penalty kill. We were 5/5 last game. I'm not worried.

This kill sees some action. Cleary breaks his stick, so as soon as we dump it out of the zone Cleary heads for the bench. Mason tries to catch us during the shift change by shooting it back in, but no BJ can get their stick on it and it ends up icing. This brings the faceoff back in to their zone.

Nice try, fellas.

We kill off the penalty, and the period comes to a close.

The Third Period:

We start off the period with a Jiri Hudler profile, and it's a good one.

I think this speaks for itself. Mick was vastly amused.

We get a goal right at the start.

Filppula's goal:

Filppula dumps the puck in and heads down the right, as Toddzilla heads down the left. They've caught the BJs during a shift change, leaving only two BJ defenders in the zone as Franzen heads down the middle. Toddzilla corrals the puck on the left and waits until he draws one of the defenders before he passes to Franzen, who draws the other defender and gets a quick jab at the puck, sending it into Mason. The rebound is left for an unhindered Filppula, who snaps it in.

Teamwork. It pays off.

Abby and Cleary try for another 15 second response goal, but are denied by Captain Killjoy, Steve Mason.

There's a funny moment where Filppula and his #51 Blue Jacket counterpart have a small collision and knock the net off its moorings.

Next, a BJ high-sticks Zetterberg in the face.

Not the face!

 Toddzilla looks to start a scrum, but Zetterberg is too busy holding his face to give him permission.

"You want I should break his face, boss?"

Dan O'Halloran doesn't stand for foolishness, so the scrum is denied.

We try on the power play, but no joy. By this point Mason is winning the Highway Robbery Competition by a wide margin. A wide, wide margin.

Then Filppula high-sticks someone. Badly.

Not the face!

It caught Commodore around the eye, and he has to be carefully helped back to the bench by the ref. It didn't look like fun.

Double minor time.

We've killed off nearly half of it when Kronner gets a holding penalty for hugging a BJ.

And the award for Worst Possible Timing goes to...

Man. Now we've got a solid two minutes of a 5 on 3.

The Blue Jackets call their time out, as this is a golden opportunity to get back in the game.

Uncle Mike instructs the troops. Or threatens to backhand them if they do poorly - I can't tell

First PK unit is Datsyuk, Lidstrom, and Stuart. They eat up a solid minute of the penalty before we clear the puck and move in the second unit of Zetterberg, Big E, and Salei.

Zetterberg throws a Conn Smythe party in the offensive zone a la 5 on 3 Stanley Cup Final 2008, eating up the clock.

Shift change brings the first unit back in with 20 seconds left in the penalty. Datsyuk clears it.

The JLA is loving every second of it.

We kill off the rest of the clock and get Kronwall back.

Moves to 30 seconds of a 5 on 4. Stuart clears with 15 seconds left. We switch out for the second unit, and kill off the remaining few seconds.

My father, who was at the game, said the JLA was amazing during this. The Red Wings garner a standing ovation.

The best part of this two minute 5 on 3?

We limit them to 1 shot on goal. It was a fucking beautiful thing.

Moving on, Helm gets a breakaway, but shoots it wide.

Big E takes a penalty for holding.

Cleary gets a breakaway during the penalty kill, but gets robbed.

And then the BJs score.


Supremely dissatisfied, Cleary grabs an empty netter in the final minute to seal the deal.

And that's game.

For those of you who haven't poured over the Red Wing's schedule, we do the home-and-home dance with the BJs again in January.

Don't Think We Didn't Notice:

The final moments of the game granted us a shot of Jimmy Howard, squirting water on his face from his water bottle.

In slow motion.

This one... is for the ladies...

 And because I enjoyed it so much, this is a double serving of Don't Think We Didn't Notice:

Abdelkader is a badass. This shot deserves a second viewing.

I will drink your false tears, Blow Job

No scrums and the BJs dodged my too-many-men call, the bastards, so no one served with pride.

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