DEFEAT
1 : Detroit Red Wings @ Dallas Stars : 4
The Red Wings are being passed around like cheap whores for home openers this season. The Red Wings find themselves in Dallas for the Star's opener.
This game makes an NHL N appearance. Oh joy. I love me some TV blackouts. Nothing worse than watching a game on a grainy illegal stream...
The Stars announcers, by the way, sounded like they were announcing a chess match. It was almost painfully boring to listen to
Granted, I will say this was an extremely boring game of hockey, so I guess they deflect some of the blame there, but the color commentary was weak. I tried really really hard to find stuff to narrate, but it was just a lazy back and forth game with a few weak penalties and a lot of goals by the Stars.
Of course, before going into this I have to note that this is Modano's first match against his former team.
Suck it up, Mo. They don't love you any more.
Some Notes From The Game:
We get about 30 seconds of play before a confused Stuart heads to the box for boarding. I'm stuck with being confused as well, as NHL N doesn't believe in replays. That's just dandy.
And then the Stars score.
Of course they do.
There's an extremely fat woman sitting right behind the Wing bench.
Lidstrom turns over a puck. The announcers make sure we know it was Lidstrom, and that hell might have just frozen over. And if you think I'm joking... you're wrong.
Datsyuk steals a puck and gets a shot on goal.
Zetterberg gets kicked out of a faceoff circle, and Datsyuk takes his place. And breaks his stick. My mood sours.
God, these announcers suck....
We get an annoying little section where the announcers acknowledge Modano's situation, and then present us with a montage of athletes that played nearly their entire careers with one organization before spending their last one or two more years elsewhere before retiring.
I would have rather watched Mick's commercial about the Bernstein Law offices. Seriously.
They give Modano some props on the jumbotron, and the crowd shows their love. Mike waves.
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| Mickey Mo manages not to cry this time |
Finally, back to the game.
The Fil-Tuzzi-Mule line goes digging for gold. Good times were had.
Some Star dives. Punk. Franzen heads to the box for interference. It looked like the Mule got bored and decided to just dump someone for no reason. I enjoyed it. NHL N replays are either non-existent or with purposely bad angles, so no pic of the nice hit.
We set up the penalty kill. It was fairly clinical. Ozzie makes a good save or two.
More boring hockey...
And then Franzen gets dumped.
Badly.
 |
| No love for the Mule |
He stays down on the ice until the ref whistles the play to a stop. Piet goes out and tends to Franzen, who manages to find his feet and skate back to the bench. Spitting blood along the way.
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| Franzen has one thought in his head as he stares down at the ice, and it's I fucking hate October |
As Franzen passes the ref, he makes sure to give him some choice words.
Octobers are not kind to the Mule.
Franzen does not return to the game.
The boring hockey match continues for a few more minutes.
Lymphatic opening period, says the announcer.
Lymphatic announcers, more like.
Finally, a Star goes to the box for something. I say something, because the announcers don't bother to tell me why.
We load up the power play. The NHL N guys take 30 seconds before they show the PP clock on the screen. Considering this is literally the only thing this network does, I'm less than impressed so far.
We squander the power play.
Next, a Star goes off for tripping. Again, no replay.
We squander that power play too.
The Second Period:
The Stars score in the first minute. Again.
Of course they do.
We get a shot of some cheerleaders. I didn't know hockey had cheerleaders.
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Scantily clad women in a hockey rink. ... and yes, they're cold |
Then again, this is Dallas. They're big into cheerleaders from what I've seen.
Datsyuk steals a puck for a breakaway, but can't get the shot off.
We play some hockey for a few minutes. They make a few statements about Nick. 6 Norris Trophies... missed a ridiculously few games in his career... no more Swedish accent...
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Nick's career stats, for your viewing pleasure |
More uneventful hockey, until the Stars score again a few minutes later. Ozzie isn't on his game tonight.
They send a Star to the box for slashing Hudler's stick and breaking it.
We squander it.
A Star goes off for interference.
Lehtonen robs us a few times.
We squander it.
The refs stop giving us pity power plays after this. I don't blame them.
Next faceoff finds Ribeiro and Modano chit-chatting before the puck drop, which prompts the announcers give us a few Modano stats.
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| Yup. Operative words here are 'a few' |
Lidstrom swats a puck out of the air. And then loses it in his feet.
Datsyuk rocks a spin-o-rama but gets denied.
Some more hockey. And then the Stars score.
Again.
God damnit, Ozzie. That's 4 goals on 9 shots, for those of you keeping track.
Then Salei goes to the box for interference - for butt-checking someone. Good times.
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| You get points for style, but lose them for stupidity |
We successfully kill off the penalty without incident.
Absolutely nothing for the first ten minutes of the period. If you think I'm joking... you're wrong.
Finally at the 10 minute mark, Modano draws a slashing penalty.
We generate a few scrambles in the crease, and then, finally-
Kronwall's goal:
Hudler corrals the puck at the top of the right faceoff dot. Dishes to Tuzzi who's standing next to the goal. He's too far back to get a good angle, so he passes to Kronner on the left, who sends it in.
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| Swede on Swede action |
This is Kronwall's first of the season.
No shutout, thank god.
Wings commit a very blatant too many men when Kindl doesn't change with Lidstrom properly, but dodge the call. Damn!
And there is no further action.
I'm serious.
Don't Think We Didn't Notice:
Couldn't find a single interesting thing this match.
Someone almost served with pride, but the refs apparently felt sorry for us. Ah well, maybe next game.
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