Red Wings @ Ducks

VICTORY

4 : Detroit Red Wings @ Anaheim Ducks : 0

I'm doing this at one o'clock in the morning after a party, so... I might be a little drunk. It's possible. Just... giving you a heads up. I'll be sure to edit this when I'm more sober to make sure I didn't say anything too stupid.

EDIT: It turns out this game was fantastic to watch drunk. With Murph wasted out of his mind, I felt right at home.

Onward!!

Some Notes From The Game:

No Teemu Selanne, who's out with a groin injury. Damn.

The First Period:

Pavel Datsyuk vs Ryan Getzlaf. I don't know if anyone out there peruses NHL statistics in their spare time (I certainly... uh, don't), but we've got two league leaders right there in the first shift.

Pavel, obviously, leads the league in takeaways.

Getzlaf has the dubious honor of leading the NHL in giveaways.

... ehehehe....

Franzen's goal:

This is gonna be a good night. Filppua along the right boards passes across ice to Franzen. The pass is wide and hits the boards. Franzen one-times the rebound in.

Franzen fights for the team lead on goals. Not Pictured: Cleary on the bench, fuming

Cam Fowler is a Farmington Hills native. Ken is psychologically incapable of ignoring this fact, and not letting you know about it.

An extremely drunk Larry Murph makes sure we know that Teemu Selanne is out with a groin injury, which is unfortunate for the Ducks, as they could probably use the offense. We've only led leaving the first period 6 times so far. So, not often at all.

It's Igor Larionov's 50th birthday today. Much like Cheli and Nick, Igor is actually immortal and stopped aging at 40. True story.

Abdelkader is rocked into the boards. He didn't look to enjoy it.

Hiller fucking ROBS Holmstrom. Wow. A shot by Big E ends up hitting the post, where it sits in the crease for a solid two seconds. Homer gets a whack at it, but Hiller manages to make a diving pad save. The puck rebounds into the air, but Hiller gloves it before Homer can reach it with his stick. Denied.

A puck takes a crazy bounce off a stanchion and Jimmah makes a ridiculous surprise save. Wow.

The fourth line has an absolutely ridiculous shift.

This is followed by a Duck getting a breakaway against Jimmah. Jimmah makes the save, but at least four players end up in a jumbled heap next to the goal.

Group hug

Big E emerges from the mess with a penalty for interference.

Penalty kill time.

Lids clears immediately following the faceoff. There's a scramble in the crease as Jimmah makes a good pad save, and the Ducks go digging for gold. Lids' quick stick clears the puck out of the crease.

Ken and Murph hope Lidstrom plays until he's 45. We do too.

Datsyuk throws a one man party in the offensive zone, but accidentally high-sticks a Duck in the face and ends up going to the box with Big E.

Instead of jumping right back into the play after the high stick, Datsyuk sticks around to either apologize to the Duck or make sure he's okay. Classy. I can't remember the last time I saw someone do that.

No hard feelings, yeah?

There's only 13 seconds of a 5 on 3. We kill off both Big E's and Pavel's penalties. Jimmah is lookin' mighty good so far...

The Second Period:

Hank and Pavel throw a party in the offensive zone. There were a lot of good chances.

Braaaaaad Stuart. Tips away a Duck lead pass, preventing a breakway. What a guy.

Getzlaf breaks his stick. Shmuck.

We're treated to some talk about whoever this Parros guy is on the Ducks. He has as many goals as Henrik Sedin! OMG!

The 'stache

And apparently has the best mustache in the hockey league. He just shaved it off at the end of November, and it regrowing it. According to Murph, both Parros and Zetterberg are capable of growing mustaches overnight.

Blake gets Kronwalled.

After a Holmstrom-induced turnover in the offensive zone, Helm gets a clear shot on goal . Which Hiller fucking robs.

Jimmaaaaaaaah. Savin' shit left and right.

There's like a rapid succession of five turnovers in the neutral zone but we eventually gain possession. Nick gets a nice slapshot off, which hits a Duck, who didn't seem to enjoy. And then Perry gets a breakaway but is shadowed by Nick and denied. Shmuck

Jimmah knocks the net off with his skate at the end of this play, and Perry is extremely displeased there was no call.

Big E makes a good save outside the crease. He's having a really good night. Again.

After a break, we're treated to the kind words Teemu Selanne had after getting Kronwalled, and accused officials of making calls in favor of the Wings in the Joe.

Turns out the Ducks just take as shit load of penalties.

We deny the Ducks another breakaway and Stuart goes sliding into the goal past Jimmah. Ryan shoves the net off, that classy bitch.

During the break, we discover TIM ALLEN is in the crowd and is a Red Wing fan.

Never give up. Never surrender.

Small shoving match when we disrupt yet another attempt by the Ducks to create some offense and Salei makes a very good defensive play. Suck it up, Ducks.

Holmstrom's goal:

Lidstrom intercepts a pass in the defensive zone and gives it to Datsyuk. Datsyuk takes it into the offensive zone and passes to Zetterberg, who kicks it skate to stick, and then shoots it on goal. Hiller gives up the rebound, which Holmstrom collects and whacks home.

Homer collects garbage

Afterward Corey Perry, that classy bitch, crosschecks him in anger. Zetterberg gives Perry a good shove in response.

Some remarks about how coach Carlyle likes his matchups, but our depth is ridiculous so Uncle Mike just keeps jumbling the lines.

For some reason this pleases me immensely.

The assist he picked up on Homer's goal was point 500 for Zetterberg. Woot.

There's a collision behind the net with Ryan that knocks the net off. Ryan looks to be injured as he makes his way back to the bench. Sadness.

Bobby Ryan was second pick in 2005 draft, otherwise known as the Year of the Crosby Lottery.

Cleary's goal:

It starts off with Abby going for a wrap-around. Hiller gets his pad down, denying that. The rebound makes its way to the right point, where Rafalski scoops it up and shoots it on goal. Danny, screening the goalie, gets the tip-in.

Not Pictured: Franzen on the bench, fuming

Sorry, Franzen. Cleary takes the team lead in goals.

The Third Period:

We get things started by Datsytuk puck handling and Holmstrom shoving people around and Nick poking the puck away for the first shift, before we get a stoppage in play and the player profile.

Datsyuk will probably win the Selke again this year, even though after three consecutive victories those hockey writers usually get that Lets Give It To Someone New disease, as Lidstrom can attest to. 

He's definitely out of the Lady Byng running, but I've always been under the impression that guys don't really take that trophy too seriously.

And, because the player profile isn't enough, we've got to take another look at his career takeaway standings.

Yup.

Back to the game. Bertuzzi goes to the box for... something. Slashing, turns out, but no replay.

Helm gets things started by throwing a party in the offensive zone.

Nick gets nailed in the head with the puck when he pokes it away from a Duck forward and it rolls up his stick. Good thing you put that visor on, old man.

We kill off the rest of the penalty.

When Datsyuk and Zetterberg get a dynamic duo rush going, they try out their patented Eutotwin One-Two Punch, but Hank sends it wide. Delayed penalty to the Ducks, and Jimmah books it to the bench for the extra man.

A loose puck in front of the net has Kronner getting a good chance, but is robbed by Hiller. The rebound comes out again and Kronner reloads for another attempt, but get robbed again. The next rebound from that goes to Hank, who hits the side of the net.

Kronner, who is still camped out in front of the crease, gets yet another shot off, and is yet again robbed. Fucking hell.

We then spend about 30 seconds passing the puck around and throwing a delayed penalty clinic, but eventually a Salei pass is tipped up into the netting and we move to the power play.

But first, we get our advertisement for the Dollar Hot Dog Night. 

Murph lets out an extremely drunken "WOOOOOOO!"

And if you think I'm joking... you're wrong.

Murph is all about the hot dogs. 

And he makes sure we understand it's plural hot dogs, not just one. We're talking a whole tray full.

Next, Burtuzzi gets fucking robbed. Not just robbed, fucking robbed. He even throws up his hand in a very clear you've gotta be fucking kidding me gesture at Hiller.

Afterward, Bertuzzi contemplates murder

At the next break we get a look at the ice time for our defensemen through the first two periods. They note that as soon as the Wings have a lead they start to cut back on Nick's ice time, as he led the skaters in TOI during the first period with 8 minutes, but during the second he only had five minutes of TOI as by then we had our lead. They further remark that the TOI is very spread out among the defensemen, and with the return of Rafalski to the line up they've reduced Nick's average from around 26 minutes at the beginning of the season to around 24 minutes.

They've apparently instructed Stuart to retrieve pucks, in order to try and keep Nick fresher, but if you ask me that hasn't really been the case, as Nick is always skating back to retrieve pucks. Certainly way more than Stuart.

Anyway.

Jimmah!!!!! This kid is really chasing that shut out. Big save.

The Ducks give away a puck in their own zone yet again when Zetterberg steals a puck for a shot on goal.

Jimmah makes a good save when a Duck goes for a wraparound. Lidstrom reads the shit out of this as well, helping him out. The last three minutes or so Nick really tries to help Jimmah with that shut out.

In the last thirty seconds, we score. SWEET JUSTICE.

Filppula's goal:

Big E has it on the left point. Shot on goal, save by Hiller, and Filppula nails the rebound in between a Duck defender's legs. Short and sweet.

Filppula adds insult to injury

And that's game. The guys give Jimmah props for his shut out.

Don't Think We Didn't Notice:

In the waning minutes of the third, we're treated to a funny moment where Zetterberg breaks his stick in the neutral zone, and ends up alone in the offensive zone with Cleary without a stick. He still manages to help out and play soccer with the puck, making a pass to Cleary that, if it hadn't been intercepted, would have been good for a shot on goal. It was vastly amusing.

Can't teach that shit

 No penalty servitude this match, so no one Served With Pride.